


One for Sorrow

by Kai_Maciel



Category: Journey into Mystery, Thor - All Media Types, Young Avengers
Genre: Gen, Guilt, Guilty Loki, Identity Issues, Loki Angst, Loneliness, Regret, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 16:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1083117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kai_Maciel/pseuds/Kai_Maciel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the first time in many centuries, Loki feels nothing but remorse. It's over... he lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One for Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since I read the Young Avengers #13, I couldn’t take this idea out of my head which is why I decided to write this small but sad story. I tried to write it so that even if you didn’t know the comic you can still understand what’s going on.  
> PS: Asgard was renamed Asgardia when Odin left Frigga (renamed Freyja), Gaea and Idunn to rule as the All-Mother.  
> I hope you guys like it.  
> Warning: Spoilers for recent comics about Loki (Journey into Mystery #645 and the Young Avengers 2013 arc).

**December**

**Broxton, Oklahoma**

Asgardia shone above the small town, it’s golden, green and purple glow painting the skies. It was still far from its former greatness, but beautiful nonetheless.

The Asgardians were feasting, as they usually did when heroes returned from their quests. They celebrated even though many of them had died when Asgard fell from its respective place on Yggdrasil due to Loki’s schemes and deceit, though often cursing the evil trickster as they talked, as long as their words were not heard by the crown prince, Thor.

No matter how much they adored their champion and prince, the Asgardians didn’t understand why Thor had brought that traitorous snake back to life, especially when this was their chance to finally get rid of Loki once and for all. Never mind that the trickster was revived as a child, never mind that he had saved the realms from Surtur, Loki would always be Loki.

Thor should have focused on his true brothers, such as Balder and Tyr. He should never have brought Loki back to life. Little did the Asgardians know that, sitting on a nearby roof and staring at his former home, Loki was wishing the same thing.  

The God of Mischief had left Asgardia for six months, but due to Wiccan’s spell no one in the city had noticed or wondered why he had disappeared, not even Thor.

It was Loki’s doing of course, because Loki wanted his old power back, he wanted his body back. He had lied and manipulated to get what he wanted and now that he had it… he felt nothing but sorrow.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

**_I played the game and won. I changed. You’re just being yourself as usual._ **

Loki knew something wrong had happened the moment he took  over the body of his younger incarnation. The boy was a part of the original Loki, just like he had been a copy of Loki's original soul in magpie form. Taking back his innocent self body was an evil act, he knew that, but he never thought of it as murder no matter how awful it sounded. The boy was part of Loki, just like one of his limbs. He thought nothing of him aside that it was his in the first place. It wasn’t murder. He was just doing what his original self created him to do.

_I had no choice…_

He knew that by stepping into his younger, innocent story that all his memories would flow into him. What he didn’t expect were his feelings, his heart, mixing into his own darker and twisted one, changing him into someone different than he was.

**_I win._ **

For centuries, Loki had known nothing but rage. By hardening his heart, he had made sure he wouldn’t feel loneliness or sadness, by focusing on his hatred he didn’t care one bit for his actions as long as he got what he wanted. But his young, reborn self longed for change, love and acceptance, his heart was filled with guilt over actions he couldn’t remember but wished he could atone.

That same heart had merged with the copy’s evil one. That heart was the reason Loki felt like he was breaking into pieces.

“It hurts…”

The adolescent god grabbed the shirt over his chest and fell on his knees on the tiles. He couldn’t breathe, his chest hurt and his eyes felt like they were on fire. As usual, he felt both surprised and humiliated to realize that he was crying once more, but he couldn’t help it no matter how much he tried.

**_I win._ **

He didn’t know what to do or where to go. He couldn’t go back to Asgardia, where he wasn’t wanted, where there was nothing for him but bad memories and a constant reminder of his many, many mistakes. He couldn’t go back to the team, not after what he had done to them. Besides, they would never take him back. It didn’t matter that he had admitted his fault or asked for their forgiveness, it didn’t change the fact that he had lied and put them all in danger. Why would they forgive him? He didn’t.

**_I win._ **

Who was he? _What_ was he? He wasn’t the original Loki; he wasn’t the new and innocent Loki. He was both. He was none. He was nothing.

**_I win._ **

 “I lost.”

Loki didn’t notice his shape-shifting powers changing his form subconsciously, just like he didn’t notice his same powers attracting hundreds of birds around him due to his distress. Pigeons, crows, sparrows, eagles, hawks… they all flew in his direction, landing all around him.

By the time he looked up, he was shocked to see so many eyes staring at him intently. It felt as if they knew what he was, what he had done.

Loki took a step back, only to realize that he had changed into his previous magpie form. Meanwhile, the birds glared.

“Go… go away…”

Their stares reflected the disgust of his original self and the contempt of his child self, the young avengers’ rage and, finally, Thor genuine hatred which felt like a dagger on Loki’s now small and aching chest.

“No. Not you…”

He was shaking and, no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t concentrate enough to change himself back to normal and teleport. The birds felt his fear, his guilt and his self-loathing and jumped to do exactly what he felt he deserved: be ripped it into shreds.

Loki lost his balance, but quickly moved away from a sharp beak and a couple of claws before finally flying away from the raging birds.

Pedestrians stared in shock as hundreds of different birds chased the small magpie over the skies of Broxton. Lamps burst into flames at their passage, TV sets lost the signal and no one would be able to make any phone calls at the time of the magpie’s passage.

Loki flew around the town, trying and failing to change back into normal. Magic required the user to be calm, which he wasn’t. As distressed as he felt, he couldn’t perform any sort of sorcery.  His mind was blank aside from terror and the need to escape.

Finally, he saw an old, abandoned house with a small hole in the ceiling and flew straight at it, losing several feathers and scratching himself in the process as he entered the old ceiling and hit his head against the wall.

Dizzy, Loki dragged himself to the corner which was farther away from the hole and the small window. He curled himself as much as he could while the birds tried to enter the ceiling, their beaks and claws scratching the wood with fury, their heads hitting the window in a frenzy to get to him.

He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t even yell anymore. All he did was pull his weak, magpie body against the wall as a stream of tears fell from his eyes, shaking with each sob.

_Thor…_

As hours went by and the citizens of Broxton stared and recorded this unusual event with their cell phones, the birds began fall to the ground one by one, dying with exhaustion. The last bird finally dropped dead six hours later.

Over the next two weeks, a TV news cast came to the town to cover the event. The birds were taken to be analyzed in order to understand what lead them to behave so feverishly but nothing was ever found. Many videos ended up on YouTube as people all over the world marveled at this scary event that was so similar to Alfred Hitchcock’s movie _The Birds_. Even the Asgardians heard about the news, with Thor and his friends commenting the subject over a feast with mild interest.

No one remembered the magpie that was still curled up inside the old house.

**One for sorrow,**

**Two for joy,**

**Three for a girl,**

**Four for a boy,**

**Five for silver,**

**Six for gold,**

**Seven for a secret never to be told.**

**“One for sorrow” (magpie nursery rhyme)**

 


End file.
